A Day in the Life of a Storybook Knight

How a good breakfast helps save a princess from a ferocious dragon.

Image created by the author using Playground AI

I am…

Sir Archibald The Brave — storybook knight; the rescuing damsels in distress kind. I’m not the type that goes around doing dastardly and ungentlemanly things — like The Dark Knight. The least said about him the better. Awful fellow. Er, where was I? Right, you want to know about my day, eh?

My day starts with…

I absolutely must have a jolly good breakfast. A knight can’t look a dragon in the eye on an empty stomach. You need a well-rounded midriff: it sends the right sort of message to the dragon.

I can’t leave my castle without…

Well, for one thing, there’s my horse. I can’t go anywhere without him. Certainly not when, like me, you’re wearing a full suit of armor and you’ve devoured a cooked breakfast or two.

Then I must have Smidgley, my squire. I’d be lost without him. I don’t mean actually lost — what I mean is he’s very useful. You see, he is forever bumping into things and falling over stuff. Stuff like rocks and trees and sometimes my horse. But actually, that helps to distract the dragon. Gives me a better chance of creeping up on it unawares.

On an average day, I’ll…

Every day, at least one messenger turns up at the door of my castle. Usually, it’s a royal messenger from some palace or other and it’s nearly always the same story. A King and Queen asking me to rescue their eldest daughter from the clutches of a ferocious, fire-breathing dragon. As a rule, they promise me untold riches in return for freeing her.

The funny thing is, it’s never their middle or youngest daughter — always the eldest. And, I haven’t once been asked to rescue a prince. I imagine that would be too embarrassing for their majesties. I suppose if a prince does get captured by a dragon, the King and Queen let it eat him. Then they tell everyone that he died a hero’s death.

The best part of my day is…

Standing there atop a vast slain dragon, striking a heroic pose. Then untieing a grateful kidnapped princess who, until a few minutes previous, was merely a…